I don't bend, I break - finding gratitude

As so many people do this time of year, I've been taking a hard look at myself.  I have been told by several people that I don't give myself credit for what I go through with my body.  I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which impacts the fascia in my body.  It is not well known.  There are different ways it impacts a person's body.  Unfortunately it has made itself known more as I've gotten older.  When I look back I see how it has impacted me my whole life.  The number of broken bones has escalated which frustrates me a lot.  I made a list ... it's ridiculous

Left collarbone (2 times)   
Right collarbone (1 time)
Left arm (3 times)
Right wrist (2 times)
Left ankle (3 times)
Right ankle (2 times)
Right foot (1 time - seriously I got a stress fracture riding an exercise bike!)
Left foot (1 time, but bone broke in multiple places)
Toes (at least 4 times, maybe more, I don't remember)
Left hand finger (1 time)

Then there are the joint surgeries. I won't list all the "regular" surgeries I've had.  You know, things like getting your tonsils removed, c-section baby deliveries, stuff like that.  (Question, why is it called a Procedure when it's actually surgery?  What makes something a procedure and something else surgery? Take a renal angiogram for example - you're sedated, in an operating room, they invade an artery to explore an organ ... they call it a procedure but I call it surgery.) I digress.

Right knee (3 times)
Left knee (1 time)
Left ankle (3 times)
Right ankle (1 time)
Right shoulder (1 time)

When I look at this list I realize how much time I've spent either injured or recovering. My body hurts every day. I have nerve damage, arthritis and joints that need to be replaced. I get so frustrated when I can't do the things I want to do. I get frustrated by a body that seems older than it is. 

But, this body IS still moving, and for that I've grateful. My injuries have forced me to slow down and be in the moment. My pain makes me more empathetic to others with hidden pain. I am more understanding when a friend cancels plans because they're having a bad pain day. I'm very fortunate that my EDS is the type that it is. While I've had some complications that have been really horrible, I can still walk. 

I'm taking steps to work with my body. I'm learning about treatments that may help. I'm working on loving myself just the way I am. (A lot of work needed here!) I'm trying to accept that sometimes I have to stop. The biggest thing I'm working on is gratitude for the lessons I get to learn. What is life trying to teach me?

I am very blessed to have a partner who is a natural caregiver. Mark takes very good care of me when I'm down. It would be much harder if he wasn't around. I am blessed to have good friends who drag my butt out and about, wheelchair and all, when I'm broken. I've had time to modify my house for the future. I need to quit seeing my diagnosis as a bad thing, and instead embrace the good. So today I am thanking my body for the lessons I've learned, and will continue to learn. Growing up is hard work.