I provide a little comic relief

When we headed out of the house today for Tyler's Bottle Service I was a little cranky, not feeling great and NOT thrilled that I had to drive crapvan because my GMC is out of commission.  But, I'm generally an optimistic person, and no sense grumbling about what cannot be changed.  Tyler and I hit the road, stop after stop, 10 of them in all.  It's always so nice greeting his customers if they're around, and I'm continually astonished by how many of them leave him cards and gifts at Christmas.  There are wonderful people out there.

We were making the best out of being in crapvan, which, as Tyler said, "feels like we're on one of the wooden rollercoasters at Cedar Point".  An aside here about crapvan to set the scene.  Crapvan is an Oldsmobile Silhouette that doesn't know it was supposed to die.  Body parts have fallen off of it.  One rocker was removed and the other one is also falling off.  THe passenger side slider won't work.  It has rust holes.  The wipers turn on and off, but don't retract down.  The back shocks are gone and it bounces like crazy.  It's not worth fixing any of the issues because the an has so many miles and isn't worth anything.  We use it to haul junk in.  We don't care what happens to it; it's crapvan.  But, today it allowed us to meet Tyler's commitments.

We got to the last stop, which was a brand new customer.  They had about 7 tubs full of glass bottles, plus boxes more glass bottles.  LOTS and lots of bottles, all in tubs that we couldn't take with us.  In our regular vehicle I carry spare bags and boxes.  In crapvan, nothing.  Crud.  We already had a pretty full vehicle, but at least everything was in bags.  When we do a pickup, each item gets marked with a sticker so we can keep track of the count and credit the customer the correct amount of money.  SO, how are we going to handle this one?  Well, I finally decided to start piling them all into the back of the van.  If they're loose, then they belong to this customer.  No other way to keep it straight.  So we haul bottle after bottle.  This is the less than glamorous part of Tyler's job.  Many of them were filled with water after sitting outside, and covered with leaves.  They were cold and heavy.  But I was determined to keep a good attitude, and told Tyler work is a good thing and we got them all piled into the vehicle.  Off to Meijer we go.

No matter how carefully I drove....crash....clank...thud.  The bottles are sliding around. Oh dear.  This will be a mess.  We pull into Meijer and I carefully open the slider and a bottle promptly crashes to the ground and breaks.  Yay.  So I pick up the pieces and put them into a bag I found on the ground.  I load a cart for Tyler and send him into the store.  Tyler gets going on returns and I head out for another cart of bottles.  CRASH.  Break another bottle.  Clean it up and put those pieces in the bag with the first bottle.  Load a cart and head back in.  Back and forth I went, loading up carts while Tyler emptied them into the recycling machines.  The next load I get bags of bottles and cans.  One tiops over and bottles and cans spill all over the parking lot.  WIND.  YAY, WIND.  Now I'm chasing cans and bottles around the parking lot like a crazed woman.

I finally get them all picked up and head back into Meijer.  The machines aren't busy so I decided to help with the return process.  I rip open a bag and my hand slips and I hit the corner of the machine with the back of my  hand.  Instant tears in my eyes and a lovely bruise and welt form.  I am not going to let this get to me though, and I tell myself to be thankful for Tyler's business and get another load done.

Because of the way I had loaded the van, the ones in the front of the van were returnables we didn't need to keep track of.  The ones in the back were the "splits".  I was afraid to open the back hatch because of the shifting glass bottles so I was working my way back through the side slider.  By now I've loaded all the bags I could reach from outside.  So, I have to climb into the back of crapvan and pitch them out the door into the cart.  I'm working on those glass bottles that are EVERYWHERE.  A bottle slips from my hand, bounces off my knee, and crashes on the pavement.  Time to clean up another broken bottle.  More glass into the bag.  I haul another load into the grocery store.

Tyler is working away, so I go get another cart load.  I'm now deep into the back of the van, grabbing bottle after bottle.  People are looking my way as they hear the noise and see the van bouncing around in the parking lot.  A woman pulls her car into the spot next to me, takes a small bag of bottles out of her car, looks at the van and me and hands the bag to me saying "here honey, it looks like you need these more than I do" and walks into the store.  I'm standing there with her small bag of bottles, knowing she meant well but feeling like I had just been looked down upon (OKAY, I DID look like I needed them more than she did, crapvan, loads of empty bottles and all).

I sat down for a moment on the floor of the van to contemplate this and sat on the bag of broken glass.  OUCH.  Seriously.  How many people can say they cut their butt?  It wasn't a bad cut.  But ... I CUT MY BUTT.   This is te point where I stood next to crapvan, looked to the sky and told God I was DONE being challenged.  I said I'm not as good a person as Job was, and I seriously needed a break.  I looked back down from the sky to lock eyes with a young mom pulling her child to the other side of the row, away from the crazy woman talking to God.

We finally finished processing all the bottles and cans.  Tyler had a very good day and he was contacted by a few new people who want to be customers.  I was again reminded how fortunate we are that he is so wonderfully blessed.  Crapvan brought me safely home to my sanctuary.  There was a package waiting at the door from a dear friend.  I haven't opened it yet, but it was like getting a huge hug.  My doggie was happy to see me and I am now laughing thinking about how I must have looked standing in the Meijer parking lot in my gray sweatpants, sweatshirt, old red barn coat, baseball cap with hair sticking out everywhere under it, shopping cart full of empty beer bottles talking to God.  I'm lucky they didn't take me away.  I think I'm the comic relief for Heaven.