Hurtful Words - thankful heart
Conversations I had today with a few friends made me think of some of the painful things that had been said to or about me. Now, these friends didn't say anything bad, but the conversation was about the power of our words.
In thinking about the hurtful things that had been said, I realized something. I've been hoarding these things in my heart, allowing them to fester. In one instance, I'm sure the person that said one of the things doesn't even remember saying it. I was a sophomore in high school. I was one of those fringe kids. I was a cheerleader, but not part of the in crowd. I was smart, but not one of the smart crowd. I compared myself to my cousin who was tall, beautiful, athletic and popular. I was short, not beautiful, not athletic and not popular. Like so many teenagers, I didn't feel I was good enough. After school one day, I came out of the bathroom and two of the other cheerleaders were at the end of the hall, around the corner, talking to their boyfriends. Unfortunately, the conversation was about me. They were making fun of my clothes and one said something about the way I looked. The other girl said, "It's not her fault she looks like that, it's her parents' fault, after all, they made her." I was destroyed. With the hindsight of time, and knowing how those two girls' lives worked out, I wouldn't trade my life with either one of them. But, today I realized I still look at myself with their mirror instead of seeing the person that other people see. I have allowed these words by insecure teenagers to color how I think about myself for years. I need to release it. I do release it.
The other most hurtful thing that someone said about me was in discussing me with someone else. They said that I took advantage of my son's disability to gain sympathy. Truly, this is the most hurtful thing anyone could ever say to me. The thought that I would use my beautiful son and his challenges to some sort of benefit is repulsive to the depths of my soul. What also hurt is those who found out about what this man said didn't (to my knowledge) chastise him for those words. Again, I moved on, actually completely stepped away from the organization that this man belonged to, and I know I would give anything within my power to give to make my son's life better. Anyone with a child with a disability knows the absurdity of such a comment. Again, though, today I realized how much I have held that statement in my heart, allowing it to fester.
Every day we do and say things that can build up or tear down someone else. Our attitude impacts others in ways we may not even know. I'm thankful for the growth opportunities I have had. I have fairly thick skin, thanks to having to walk a path that forced me to learn to love and appreciate myself. I no longer worry about everyone liking me. I'm not going to change who I am to please someone else. I'm okay just the way I am.
So often I see other women trying to change to please everyone else. They are not true to themself. I hear people saying things to put other people down in order to make themself feel better. That kind of activity never builds us up or gives us strength. Strength only comes from knowing we are wonderful the way we are, the way God made us, and being happy when others are successful and happy in their own life.
So today I have a thankful heart. I release those hurtful things that I have been holding in my heart. They don't belong there. I forgive the ones who said them. Those things are not who I am. I am thankful for the family I have, the dear friends that surround me, and the wonderful life I live. I am thankful for who I am.
Are you hoarding hurtful things in your heart that other people said about you? Let it go. You'll be glad you did.
In thinking about the hurtful things that had been said, I realized something. I've been hoarding these things in my heart, allowing them to fester. In one instance, I'm sure the person that said one of the things doesn't even remember saying it. I was a sophomore in high school. I was one of those fringe kids. I was a cheerleader, but not part of the in crowd. I was smart, but not one of the smart crowd. I compared myself to my cousin who was tall, beautiful, athletic and popular. I was short, not beautiful, not athletic and not popular. Like so many teenagers, I didn't feel I was good enough. After school one day, I came out of the bathroom and two of the other cheerleaders were at the end of the hall, around the corner, talking to their boyfriends. Unfortunately, the conversation was about me. They were making fun of my clothes and one said something about the way I looked. The other girl said, "It's not her fault she looks like that, it's her parents' fault, after all, they made her." I was destroyed. With the hindsight of time, and knowing how those two girls' lives worked out, I wouldn't trade my life with either one of them. But, today I realized I still look at myself with their mirror instead of seeing the person that other people see. I have allowed these words by insecure teenagers to color how I think about myself for years. I need to release it. I do release it.
The other most hurtful thing that someone said about me was in discussing me with someone else. They said that I took advantage of my son's disability to gain sympathy. Truly, this is the most hurtful thing anyone could ever say to me. The thought that I would use my beautiful son and his challenges to some sort of benefit is repulsive to the depths of my soul. What also hurt is those who found out about what this man said didn't (to my knowledge) chastise him for those words. Again, I moved on, actually completely stepped away from the organization that this man belonged to, and I know I would give anything within my power to give to make my son's life better. Anyone with a child with a disability knows the absurdity of such a comment. Again, though, today I realized how much I have held that statement in my heart, allowing it to fester.
Every day we do and say things that can build up or tear down someone else. Our attitude impacts others in ways we may not even know. I'm thankful for the growth opportunities I have had. I have fairly thick skin, thanks to having to walk a path that forced me to learn to love and appreciate myself. I no longer worry about everyone liking me. I'm not going to change who I am to please someone else. I'm okay just the way I am.
So often I see other women trying to change to please everyone else. They are not true to themself. I hear people saying things to put other people down in order to make themself feel better. That kind of activity never builds us up or gives us strength. Strength only comes from knowing we are wonderful the way we are, the way God made us, and being happy when others are successful and happy in their own life.
So today I have a thankful heart. I release those hurtful things that I have been holding in my heart. They don't belong there. I forgive the ones who said them. Those things are not who I am. I am thankful for the family I have, the dear friends that surround me, and the wonderful life I live. I am thankful for who I am.
Are you hoarding hurtful things in your heart that other people said about you? Let it go. You'll be glad you did.
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